Rating: PG13 for swearing
Summary: There are zombies...
Notes: Many thanks to kaneko for her speedy beta and making this waaay better than what my sugar high brain came up with. :D
Disclaimers: Not mine, no money, don't sue!
SPOILERS: Season 2
Feedback: Hell, yeah!
"I am not going in there!" Owen protested. "What happened to 'Owen's made of glass and he's very fragile'?"
"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Ianto said, bracing his back against the door morgue door. Loud banging and moaning could be heard from the other side of it. "Someone needs to go back in there and retrieve the device, and then turn it off before the effect spreads," he added.
Owen strained against the door. "I don't see you volunteering yourself!"
"You saw what happened to Jack when he came into contact with the zombies. But one of them grabbed you before, and you looked fine, so I'm thinking you're immune."
"Technically, they aren't zombies."
"Right. I guess your definition of zombie would be something other than 'reanimated corpse' then."
A particular strong shove against the door almost made them both lose their balance, but they managed to hold on.
"And what happened to 'never speak ill of the dead'?" Owen said, glaring, and Ianto realised belatedly that when it came down to it the 'reanimated corpse' applied to Owen just as well as the creatures in the morgue. He backtracked hastily:
"It only applies when they're trying to kill people or convert them, which this lot are." Owen looked a little mollified at that.
"Ianto, Owen," Tosh's voice came over the comm. "The signal keeps fluctuating. I can't narrow it down to get the right jamming frequency. At least not without a few more hours of work. I'm also having trouble getting the CCTV back online. Whatever the signal is, it's affecting surveillance as well."
"We don't have a few more hours!" Owen shouted.
"Someone has to go in and manually turn off the device. I'm sorry." Tosh sounded genuinely sorry.
Ianto closed his eyes. "Look, there are a few more doors between here and the central Hub. Gwen should be here in a couple of minutes. She'll set things up at the next junction and barricade the next set of doors. All we have to do is let go. I'll head towards Gwen and you head back to the morgue and get the device. And Jack. You need to get Jack. He hates waking up in the morgue."
"I don't even want to know how you know that."
"Owen? Ianto? What happened?" Gwen's voice came over their earpiece. They could hear Tosh's faint voice over the comm filling Gwen in.
"Zombies." Gwen actually sounded amused. "We've got a zombie-making device and Jack activated it in the morgue?"
"It was an accident!" Ianto somehow felt compelled to defend Jack.
"And it's not funny! Get down here and give us a hand!" Owen added as the banging from the other side of the door got louder and harder.
Gwen was there within half a minute, looking as though she were still trying to control her giggles.
"You won't be laughing when you see what they did to Jack!" Owen snapped. "And unless someone else comes up with another plan in the next two minutes, I'm going to be the one wading through the reanimated corpses of our various predecessors." He frowned. "Do you think Suzie's going to be there? Don't think I can't deal with her coming back again."
It took a minute for Ianto to explain his plan to Gwen, and another minute for Gwen to set things up properly.
"Let's get this over with then." Owen gritted his teeth.
Ianto nodded. "On three?"
"One," Owen started.
"Two." Ianto took a deep breath.
"Three!" Ianto sprinted forward towards the half-shut door on the other end of the corridor where Gwen was waiting, while Owen tried to keep the hoard of undead ex-Torchwood employees back for as long as he could.
He was soon overpowered, and the door smashed opened.
While not exactly chanting 'brains', the zombies' moaning and shuffling weren't pleasant sights to behold.
Panting, Ianto darted through the door and Gwen slammed it shut the moment he cleared the threshold. She locked it, and they pushed a pile of God-knows-what in front of it to barricade it.
"I don't think it'll hold for long," Gwen said as the banging started again.
"Owen?" Ianto shouted, helping Gwen carry half a broken shelf to the pile.
"Fuck," came the reply from Owen.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
"Owen! What the hell's going on?" Gwen demanded.
"Jack has the device. And it doesn't look like he wants to let go of it."
"Fuck," Ianto and Gwen said in unison.
"And whose idea was it to send me in here unarmed?" Owen grumbled.
"Take comfort from the fact that you're still yourself, and not some brainless… well, zombie." Ianto replied, watching their ad-hoc barricade shake under the onslaught of the zombies; and they were zombies. They were reanimated corpses, damn it!
"Guess we'll just have to do this the hard way, then." Neither Gwen nor Ianto knew who Owen was talking to, but that was the last they heard of him for some time.
TEN MINUTES AND THIRTEEN SECONDS LATER
~ * ~
"The banging. It's stopped." Gwen commented. Her back was braced against a well-worn cushion that had somehow become part of their barricade. Ianto was jammed between the hard surfaces of two broken wooden chairs.
"Guys." Tosh voice came through the comm. "The signal's stopped."
"Are we clear?" Ianto asked.
"Getting CCTV back online. Oh…"
"Tosh?" Gwen asked.
"Uh…right. Things are a little… messy on the other side of the door." Tosh replied. "All the zombies seem to be down and out for the count. It should be safe to go through, but I would wait till I can get a more thorough scan and make sure there are no lingering transmittable effects."
"Transmittable effects. Right. We'll just unlock the door for Owen and get the hell out." Gwen started disassembling their barricade, with Ianto helping.
A sudden bang on the door made them both jumped back in shock. "Hurry up and open the bloody door!" came Owen's impatient voice from the other side.
Ianto and Gwen let out a relieved sigh and redoubled their efforts to clear the way sufficiently to open the door.
A few minutes later, Owen, none the worse for wear, came walking through the door, dumping an unconscious – or maybe dead, Ianto really couldn't tell without a closer look – Captain Jack Harkness at their feet.
Jack looked really pale and there was blood staining the side of his temple.
"I'm taking this up to Tosh." Owen took a triangular silver device from his pocket. "And I am not cleaning that up," Owen declared, walking right past Ianto and Gwen without a backwards glace.
Ianto took a look through the door. Bodies were piled on top of each other in various states of decomposition.
"I'll need to order more bleach and disinfectant." He should've left Jack in the morgue.